The perfume of pork.

If you like your bacon with a pinch of salt then this one’s for you. Wear the essence of bacon and uncover your new level of awesome! Can you smell what’s SSSSSSizzling? It’s Bacon! And now, the essence of the world’s most beloved scent is available in a high quality wearable fragrance, bacōn (pronounced Bay-Cone) by fargginay. In each bottle of bacōn, hidden beneath 11 popular pure essential oils is an ever so slight hint of… bacon. Bacon lovers rejoice, for you now have the ability to bring your bacon with you and to harness the subtle and seductive powers of “Bacon in a Bottle”. The Legend of Fargginay began in 1920 when quite by accident John Fargginay, a Parisian butcher discovered the ability to dramatically elevate his customers’ mood with a secret recipe blending herbs & essential oils with the essence of…bacon. As the story goes, film stars & heads of state would frequent his shop to procure the magical elixir. With a wink of the eye and the secret code, “fargginay,” customers would be slipped a discreet pouch containing the formula said to trigger pleasant memories. After a massive fire on July 4, 1924, the business was lost and so was the formula…Until now. Ladies & gentleman, behold your secret weapon, bacōn fragrances by fargginay. Consumers interested in uncovering their new level of awesome can go to fargginay.com and pick up bacōn today. You can’t make this rubbish up you know!

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Heavy Metal

I've never really been in to heavy metal but it now seems that I may be full of it, in fact there could be enough mercury passing through my system to keep a reasonable sized thermometer pumping. Now this is particularily distressing to me since a lot of it is coming from tuna which not only happens to be my favourite fish but also plays a major role in my favourite dish. I just love grilled fresh tuna barely seared on either side and of course tuna sushi but it seems that shortly they both could end up carrying a Government Health Warning.
All fish absorb varying levels of mercury from seawater as it passes through their gills and it causes a build up in their bodies. The problem is that the higher up the food chain they sit, the more contaminated the fish may be because in the scheme of things, big fish eat up little fish and increase their mercury content in one gobble. Worst offenders are sharks of course, but I learnt a long time ago to stay well clear of those guys, dead or alive.
Tormented tuna tuckers would do well to remember the truth behind the expression, Mad as a Hatter because in the 19 th century, hatters really did go mad through exposure to mercury used in the production of felt. So what's a safe level of consumption - it really is as little as 1 tuna steak per week or 1 can of tinned tuna, so go easy on those tuna mayo sandwiches in your lunch box
I had my tuna ration last night along with a few friends at home and I must admit that by the end of a particularily raucous evening I felt that I was experiencing some of the tell tale signs of mercury poisoning, numbness, tiredness and blurred vision but I'm not sure whether I should put it down to the tuna or the red wine ????

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Lose weight - guaranteed

Losing weight is really quite a simple process - you either eat less calories or you use up more calories. There are no magic formulas, no easy fixes, no guaranteed diets, that is until recently when NASA scientists let it slip that returning astronauts frequently are found to have lost between 5 and 10% of their body weight before going into orbit. What is it that the astronauts have discovered but are not sharing with the rest of us? I thought the whole purpose of space exploration was to expand man's knowledge and to share it with everyone.
Is it because the food supplies are so finely nutritionally balanced? Fraid not, the food is nutritionally balanced but takes into account individual astronaut's preferences. Has it something to do with the gravitational pull of the earth performing some sort of liposuction? Wrong again. Maybe the whole space experience makes them work harder and burn up more calories? Quite the opposite in fact, the reason that they lose weight is simply because they eat fewer calories on a daily basis and they eat fewer calories because they are living in zero gravity and therefore are expending much less energy than they normally would.
So there's the answer, forget about that new family room or extra bedroom that you had planned and put your money into a pressurised lounge where you can achieve zero gravity. Take a few weeks off work and spend them in your pressure chamber and you too can shed up to 10% of your body weight with relative ease. I believe that Virgin Active already have advanced plans to rip out all the steam rooms and saunas in their gyms in preparation for approval to install pressure chambers.

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Haute Dawg!

I reckon there’s nothing worse than people buggering about with food whether it’s taking perfectly good ingredients and turning them into baby food or taking perfectly good ingredients and turning them into giant food. New York restaurant Serendipity 3 has added a new item to it’s menu - the 'Serendipity Foot Long Haute Dog' What was created as a novelty item last year has now been added permanently for the deep-pocketed, hot dog aficionado. The foot-long hot dog (30 cm) is made from pure beef, grilled in white truffle oil, sandwiched in a pretzel bun imported from Germany, and toasted with white truffle butter. In lieu of ketchup, mustard and relish, the hot dog is topped with medallions of duck foie gras with black truffles and served with condiments of black truffle Dijon mustard, caramelized Vidalia onions and heirloom tomato ketchup. Yawn!

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Sunday afternoon at the bioscope

Do you know an annoying vegetarian? Send them this clip from the fantastic Mitchell & Webb and tell them there's two sides to every story. FeedBlitz subscribers should visit the site to view.

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Dilly Diner of the Week

I've got no time for the ridiculous circus we see on TV billed as the World Wrestling Federation championships, grotesquely muscular idiots with more oil on them than a packet of slap chips all trying to string a few words together at the top of their voices - what a bunch of tossers. So I'm not really sure how I would approach the regulars of this week's Dilly Diner who are also afficiandos of the noble art of wrestling albeit restricted to the pedantry parts of the body. The Bentley Brook Inn and Fenny's Restaurant is the world headquarters of the fair game of Toe Wrestling it seems.
Every year in the tiny village in the Staffordshire Peak District grown men gather to engage in their chosen sport of toe wrestling. This toe-nement also attracts contestents from all over the world, so called women included, but what is really bizarre for an event of this nature is that it is sponsored by Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream ( don't even think of potential new flavour development ).
Claiming top honours in this strange sport is no mean feet, sorry I mean feat. The "wrestle" consists of raising one foot off the ground, while the toes of the other foot engage the opponent's, and each contender tries to push the other's foot over toward the dreaded line (which, strangely, consists of a wooden board). Winner is the best of 3 toe-downs and contestants experiencing a lot of pain can yield by screaming out "Toe much !" Of course no artificial stimulants are permitted although fortunately beer is considered to be a perfectly natural stimulant.

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That Was The Week That Was

This week was all about chefs patting each other on the back. First up was the venerable Paul Bocuse who was proclaimed “Chef of the Century” by The Culinary Institute of America on Wednesday night. Now Paul is quite a chef and that’s quite an accolade but some would argue that there are other candidates for the accolade. The 85-year-Bocuse, often hailed as the father of the classical-gone-modern approach known as nouvelle cuisine, was feted by a crowd that included all sorts of foodie and other notables – namely, Thomas Keller (who also held a private chefs-only event for Bocuse on Tuesday), Jean-Georges Vongterichten, Eric Ripert, Todd English, David Burke, Jacques Pepin and Charlie Trotter . Jerome Bocuse (yes, Paul’s son and the executive behind the Bocuse-led Les Chefs de France restaurant at Walt Disney World) even received received alumni honours. Oh, and there was a meal to be had, with a hearts of palm salad, filet mignon and a dessert buffet.



Back to that event on the Tuesday evening and Bocuse handed out his own gift to Thomas Keller who was designated by France as a Chevalier, or “Knight,” of the National Order of the Legion of Honor for his commitment to the traditions of French cuisine and his role in “elevating cooking in America,”. The distinction puts Mr. Keller in the company of other culinary luminaries, among them Julia Child, Jacques Pépin, Alice Waters and Daniel Boulud. Chef Paul Bocuse, founder of the Bocuse D’Or World Cuisine Competition, presented Mr. Keller with the Legion of Honor medal at his Per Se restaurant in New York. Mr. Keller is president of the Bocuse D’Or USA Foundation. Now I hope you don’t get the idea that this is all a little bit incestuous!



At least all these guys can still claim to be working chefs,even Bocuse at age 85, so no invites for the likes of Jamie or Gordo. Mind you,I reckon you would be hard pressed to find anyone to pat His Gordoness on the back for anything! A recent study by OnePoll and PRWeek revealed Gordon Ramsay as the celebrity chef with the worst public image, while UK competitor Jamie Oliver took the lead by 64 per cent. Despite 43 per cent claiming Ramsay to run better restaurants and making the best TV programs; Mr. Ramsay still fell short in the survey.

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