Sunday afternoon at the bioscope

This week's clip is a lovely parody of The Kitchen Goddess, Nigella, by the beautiful Ronni Ancona from the Big Impressions show in the UK. She's almost more Nigella than Nigella.

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Dilly Diner of the Week

You’ve got to go up in the world in more ways than one to be able to enjoy this week’s Dilly Diner. Located on the 63rd floor of the Dome at State Tower, Sirocco perhaps offers one of the most memorable dining experiences in Bangkok in the open air under the stars.
Sirocco bills itself as the world's highest alfresco restaurant offering the breezy views one might imagine of the Bangkok skyline. The menu is Italian and much of the fare is imported as appropriate. Prices are not for the casual night out, but the views of stars and city, the live jazz, and the splendid drinks make Sirocco good for special moments and romantic evenings. Expect crisp formal service and be sure to dress on the formal side as well. Be aware that especially outside of the dry season, the restaurant is at the mercy of the weather.

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That Was The Week That Was

Bad news for Ainsley this week as it was announced that Ready Steady Cook, Britain's longest-running cookery show with 21 series and almost 2000 episodes, has been axed. The BBC cookery show is getting the chop after more than 15 years because viewers have lost their taste for it. The show, which first aired in 1994 with Fern Britton, at the helm, initially had three million viewers tuning in to see what professional chefs could do with a £5 bag of mystery ingredients. But in recent years, the figures have slipped to an unpalatable 1.5million. Ainsley Harriot became a household name with his catchphrases 'Percy Pepper' and 'Sally Salt' when he took over hosting the show in 2000, having been a chef on it previously.



Meanwhile Anthony Worral Thompson, a long time regular on the show has had to look to pastures greener to supplement his pension from Ready Steady Cook and this week launched the Chef Antony Worrall Thompson Pie Maker, that cooks four individual pies at once and includes a pastry cutter, crimping tool and lots of recipe ideas. Now isn’t that just dandy! The rapid heat-up function cooks pies in just 10 minutes and the best bit is that you can feed fussy pie eaters, who all want different fillings, in one go as you create delicious sweet or savoury pies he says. Who would have thought that he was so clever?



And finally to one Ready UN-Steady Cook. Millionaire Alexander Kalnins was travelling to Hamburg on his yacht the Old Captain this week when he got into a row with the ship's cook after both of them had been drinking heavily. The reclusive Latvian billionaire had to be forced to go to hospital after he almost bled to death after being stabbed in the genitals by the unsteady chef. Police were called to the scene by paramedics after the millionaire refused to be taken to the local hospital and it took five officers to force the badly injured man into the ambulance to take him to the hospital. He was then admitted to the intensive care ward where doctors were able to save his life after tying him down. But he has already insisted that police who arrested the cook release him - claiming that the stab wound was simply an old injury. You’ve got to go easy on the salt you know!

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It's for you dear

When you’re a blogger you’ve got to be careful what you write because you never know who might be reading your ramblings. Now I’m not suggesting that what London-based husband and wife blogging team The Critical Couple wrote was ramblings of course since they have reviewed quite a few Michelin-starred restaurants, both negatively and positively. But what a surprise they got after writing a review on the two Michelin-starred Marcus Wareing at the Berkeley in London. After visiting the restaurant seven times in the last year, they found their most recent experience there "severely lacking" and simply explained why in their blog. Suddenly old Marcus was pulling himself up to his full height, hyperventilating and ranting down the phone to them in their own home in an abusive manner, flipping out over the review. "How would you like me to write about you and your appearance and the way you dress?" he demanded to know. I hope Marcus is not trying to emulate his former boss His Gordoness. I also hope he hasn’t got my telephone number!

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Master the simple things in life first

In yet another one of those interminable books of celebrity recipes published a few years ago, Joan Rivers the comedienne, offered a great recipe for toast which will really help you master the culinary complexities - put bread in the toaster, press handle down, wait for toast to pop up, spread with butter. Truly a recipe stripped to the bare necessities, possibly more worthy of the Naked Chef than Joan Rivers but then she probably stole the recipe like everyone else does!
I used to work in a very grand hotel where on a daily basis the Assistant Food and Beverage Manager would come into the Coffee Shop after service to order his breakfast. Being a bit of a joker he would order a hot breakfast and then patiently, line by line, describe his recipe for toast to the waiter - take some bread, preferably about 3 or 4 days old, break a bit off one or two corners, place under a hot grill for 4 minutes on one side until blackish and then 30 seconds on the other side, scrape most of the black side so that the carbon gets trapped in the small pockets in the bread, leave to go cold for 10 minutes and then dip briefly in cold tea before serving with frozen butter. The waiter would listen politely and then reply " We couldn't possibly do that Sir. We just haven't got the time!" Straight faced, the Manager would reply " Why ever not - you certainly had the time yesterday morning!"
So toast is a very personal thing. I hate toast browned on both sides, I much prefer thick cut bread toasted golden on one side only and then spread with soft melted butter- pure heaven. The only problem I have is much the same as people with one leg, they can't buy only one shoe and I can't buy a pop up toaster with only one element.

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Kitchen Nightmares

Oh dear me there are some places in life where the faint hearted dare not venture and top of the list I reckon is restaurant kitchens. Sadly it seems the more famous the restaurant the more frightening the kitchen is. Gourmet diners pay hundreds of pounds to visit the plush dining room of the Fat Duck restaurant but they might be surprised to see where dishes such as snail porridge and sardine-on-toast sorbet are actually created. Behind the listed 16th-century cottage is a back yard where crockery is stored in a tent, eight wooden sheds serve as larders and some of the food is prepared on picnic tables in the open air, according to complaints sent to the local council. Neighbours in the Berkshire village of Bray also protest that swearing staff hold all-day parties, filling the air with cigarette smoke and the clatter of pots and pans. Not quite the image our mild mannered Heston portrays on TV especially when trying to explain how he ended up poisoning 500 diners last year.
Even Blumenthal himself admits his kitchen facilities are ‘inadequate’ and ‘inappropriate’ for an establishment which holds three Michelin stars and has twice been voted the world’s best restaurant. So here’s the thing Heston, why the hell don’t you fix your own problems before racing off to sort out the Little Chef chain and open another restaurant in London?

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They walk sideways you know

They’re fiendishly clever these orientals by all accounts. In Nanjing, China they’ve taken convenience to a whole new level. Crabs are caught, packed in plastic boxes, and kept alive in refrigerated vending machines, awaiting the pleasure of passing commuters in Nanjing. That’s right live crabs! The crustaceans are kept at between 32 and 50 degrees Farenheit — not enough to freeze them, but cold enough to make them docile. They sell for between $1.50 and $7.50. Once the money's inserted, the crabs drop down to the drawer with an unceremonious plop. The machines are moving around 200 crabs a day, Xinhua's Tantao News reports. And there's a guarantee that if you buy a dead one, you'll get three live ones, for free. Now just how would you claim your 3 complimentary crabs? Is there a man standing beside the machine keeping the punters happy and if there is couldn’t he just sell crabs from a stall?

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