Who's to blame?

This whole obesity issue is taking on distinctly farcical overtones. Up to now the fast food operators have been the bad guys with multinationals like McDonalds taking most of the flak. Now what part do us consumers not understand - fast food makes you fat! It's full of sugar,starch,transfats and all sorts of things it's best you don't know anything about. It is not intended to be healthy food,all studies point to the fact that taken in large quantities it is not good for you,it makes you fat,if you have a problem with that then don't bloody well eat it. It's really as simple as that. Now unfortunately the food police are not content with just scaring you away from fast food,in Scotland they now have sit down restaurants in their sights.The Scottish Consumer Council released the results of a survey they undertook claiming that Scotland not only has a dreadful diet (what's wrong with deep fried Mars bars anyway?),but that restaurants are failing in their responsibilities by not providing healthy options for those diners who do want to choose healthy food to eat. I think this is utter nonsense. Don't get me wrong, I eat a very healthy diet at home and I think everyone should also,but when you go out to a restaurant for a treat,for a celebration,for a special occasion you're not looking for healthy food. If you are,then go to a vegetarian restaurant. Surely we're all big enough to make our own food choices? Surely if there is a real market for healthy food options then chefs will provide them for increased financial gain? For cris'sake, enough of this bloody Nanny State interference. If people want to eat fatty food let them,if they want to smoke at the dinner table in the smoking section let them, if they want to eat lettuce let them, the next thing you know they'll be choosing the bloody music for us!

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Someone’s sulking in the state of Denmark

Oh dear it seems the men from the tyre factory have knocked a few noses out of joint in the state of Denmark. In their latest listing 2 restaurants in London get 3 stars, Alain Ducasse and Gordon Ramsay although God knows why since he’s never there! But Noma, in Copenhagen, whose founder René Redzepi had pioneered "foraging" for ultra-local ingredients, was kept in the second rank with only two despite being ranked the world’s best for two years in a row! "The World's 50 Best Restaurants", a Michelin rival which makes decisions based on 800 jurors, ranked Noma the world's number one in both 2010 and 2011, arguing that its appeal went beyond its "fanatical approach to foraging". "It's the entire package, from its ingredient ingenuity to flawless execution, that makes it a beacon of excellence and which leads to an emotive, intense, liberating way of eating, unlike any other," according to San Pellegrino, the sponsor, on its website. Mr Redzepi wisely declined to comment publicly on the decision, but Helle Bronnum Carlsen, food critic at Denmark's Politiken newspaper, was more forthcoming. "I've been to several of the three-star restaurants around the world and Noma can beat them, so why do they not give them the star?" she asked. "You get so much more new thinking at Noma. It must be something to do with them being French." It could be that or perhaps more simply it could be that the whole ranking thing is really just a load of bollocks!

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Coffee sir?

It's bloody difficult to get a decent cup of coffee. You would think that living in this Cafe Society in which we now find ourselves that we would have no difficulty whatsoever in in finding that elusive,refreshing cuppa Joe. I mean there are coffee shops on every corner,coffee shops inside stores and bookshops,airports and train stations, coffee shops disguised as restaurants and restaurants that would be better off as coffee shops,in fact you can hardly swing a cat without some of it's furballs ending up in someone's coffee cup and yet no bloody decent coffee ? Well I'm not surprised because it's one of the most complicated things in the world to make a cup of coffee. I reckon it's probably easier to fly a jumbo jet than make a decent brew. Firstly you've got to choose your beans from a wide range of countries around the world. Then there's the area within that country,each producing a distinctive bean according to it's terroir,a bit like different grapes on wine farms or estates and of course the different grades available within a specific year's harvest. Now the green beans must be roasted,what would you like,mild,medium,full roast or all stations in between? Grind the roasted beans according to taste and those little numbers on the dial and then it's heads down to mix the perfect blend of roasted beans,often originating in totally different parts of the globe. OK so someone has taken care of all these details before you wander into your local coffee shop but that's only the start. Assuming you believe that one of those espresso machines that sound a bit like the Hogwarts Expess leaving the station with a full load,are the best method for delivering up our treasured beverage then the operator better not deviate from the accepted dosage of 8 grams of freshly ground coffee beans per person. There are some other important numbers they should bear in mind as you stand at the counter with that hangdog expression on your face. Water temperature of 93 C delivered under pressure of 9 bar,oh and make sure that they didn't exert any more than 30 lbs pressure when they tamped down the grind. All this before you get assaulted with the ridiculous myriad of choices of how you would like your coffee finished. So you see I'm not in the slightest bit surprised that it's so bloody difficult to get a decent cup of coffee - more importantly I'm keeping my fingers crossed that that bozo Riedl sticks to producing wine glasses. His theory is that you should match the glass to the wine,not the colour red or white,but exclusive glasses for Shiraz,Cabernet Sauvignon etc. Can you imagine what would happen if he tried to muscle in on the coffee business with different cups for different blends?

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More chooky for Lizzy

It’s fairly well documented that Queen Elizabeth is a woman of simple tastes, not the sort of monarch who would summon Blumen Hestonstein to the Palace to whip up a spectacular banquet for her upcoming Diamond Jubilee but perhaps she may be less than impressed with another bloody chicken recipe created in her honour. When she acceded to the throne they came up with Coronation Chicken, a dish which has been bastardised countless times over the ensuing 60 years. The recipe for the original yellow concoction of cold chicken, curry powder, herbs and spices in a mayonnaise-based sauce, often with added raisins and almonds, was the creation of florist Constance Spry and chef Rosemary Hume for the 1953 coronation banquet. The common belief is that it was inspired by the dish prepared in 1935 for the Silver Jubilee of George V, the Queen's grandfather. This also mixed chicken with mayonnaise and curry. More bloody chicken! Now the National Farmers' Union last week launched a nationwide competition to find a new recipe to rival Coronation chicken using,you guessed it, chicken! Everyone is hoping the Diamond Jubilee concoction will eclipse the recipe created in 2002 for the 50th anniversary of the accession. Yet another now largely forgotten mix of cold chicken marinated in ginger, served in a crème fraiche and mayonnaise sauce dusted with parsley and served with lime segments, was distributed in hampers to guests who attended Golden Jubilee concerts a decade ago. Maybe it’s time they gave Lizzy a rest from the chooky.

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Sunday afternoon at the bioscope

With MasterChef SA about to hit our screens maybe we can look forward to some stunning presentations like this one from the original UK version! FeedBlitz subscribers should visit the site to view.

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Dilly Diner of the Week

The Dilly Diner this week is the Masoch Café in Lviv in the Ukraine. This titillating theme café/restaurant is dedicated to writer and original freak Leopold Ritter von Sacher-Masoch who was born in Lviv in 1836. Masoch enjoyed playing the role of the slave and insisted that his dominatrixes wear furs. In fact, the word masochism was coined from his name. The cafe has an atmosphere reminiscent of the time and works of the famous writer. The walls are decorated with attributes of a sexual masochistic comfort – erotic photography, leather whips, strings, handcuffs, chains (which visitors can take off and try to act in pretense). The staff are dressed in appropriate leather masochistic outfits.The menu, which can be purchased as a souvenir (in Ukrainian only), is loaded with fabulous and unusual dishes. You may have difficulties deciding on a meal, because of the distractions caused by the pornography that appears on the menu. The names and components of all the food and beverages served here are related to sex and masochism. Examples are a salad called "Bathhouse and a Whip”, a chocolate fondue called “12 Principles of Debauchery “, a hot appetizer with celery called “Do Not Rush the Final”, fruit and cream called “Bridle Passion”. The most popular dishes in “Masoch” though are dishes from bovine testicles and soup with a bull’s penis. Men, if they wish they can get a parting lash whip from the waitresses.

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That Was The Week That Was

So there was Jamie rabbiting on about responsible eating this week as he launched his Ministry of Food Down Under although he did seem a little more full about the jowls. But when a female journalist asked if he had put on a few pounds, Jamie — seen looking slimmer — replied: "Thank you for noticing, you bitch. "Working in the food business is quite hard when someone's constantly asking you to try things. I eat fresh, I train twice a week. "I could do better but I'm trying my best. Now you know what it’s like for the real people Jamie. Meanwhile in the USA his nemesis His Gordoness was also on the subject of fat as he was launching his Fat Cow casual dining concept at LA shopping mall According to Caterer and Hotelkeeper, seating up to 200 diners, the new restaurant will have a relaxed, rustic neighbourhood atmosphere with a menu offering European-inspired dishes. The menu will include a rotating roaster, house cured meats, local cheeses and daily changing dishes inspired by the nearby farmers market. Puddings will showcase classic American home desserts with a British pub style. Commenting on the new restaurant launch Ramsay said: "We're really excited to bring this concept to life, a place where people can just relax and enjoy a delicious European inspired meal." From Fat Cows to Fat Ducks as the Nutty Professor has created an animated world of The Fat Duck menu for diners to view after they book a table. The film is part of Blumenthal’s Like a Kid in a Sweetshop multi-sensory dining experience and aims to capture the diner's imagination in the long wait between booking and eating at The Fat Duck. Actor John Hurt narrates as the shopkeeper and listeners journey through The Fat Duck imaginary sweetshop, evoking their own childhood memories of excitement, discovery and expectation. The tour ends with a trip to a make-believe sweetshop. Working with a Manchester based creative studio Blumenthal’s idea was to create an Alice in Wonderland fantasy animation world, reminiscent of ‘falling down the rabbit hole’. “The Fat Duck is the type of restaurant you may only ever eat in once”, explains Blumenthal, “and I wanted to create that almost childlike feeling of anticipation beforehand. In order to achieve this, I needed to push the dining experience beyond the traditional time we spend inside the restaurant at the table And there was me thinking it was all about food!

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